Pickled Plums
by char-tomio
Summary: Hinamori receives a package of sour pickled plums. Find out the crazy sequence of events she experiences in her attempt to get rid of the dreaded package.
1. Chapter 1

**Pickled Plums**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any character from Bleach. I just have this stupid hobby of messing with them. Enjoy.**

**P.S.! Before you read this story, try to imagine the feeling you get whenever you see someone licking a lemon in front of you.**

* * *

_It was there. Right in front of her apartment door._

Momo Hinamori picked up the mysterious, cloth-wrapped package. She could feel that it was a glass jar, but she did not know what was in it. She looked left and right, just in case the one who left the package was still around. No one. Guessing that it was really for her, she took the 'package' inside.

She placed it on her sink and pulled the cloth.

Lo and behold, in it's purplish-brown glory stood a huge jar of _umeboshi_ (pickled plums).

Hinamori cringed at the sight of the sour fruit. She didn't like plums all that much, especially when it's fermented and super acidic.

She sighed and opened the jar. If it was really for her, it would be rude not to accept it. As she opened it, Hinamori almost shed tears when the pungent aroma wafted around. Her hand shivered as she picked off one fruit and ate it hesitantly.

The poor girl almost choked from the sour taste of the fruit. Her lips puckered and made a funny face. She took a huge gulp of water just to swallow the pickled plum. She managed to down it successfully but the tart aftertaste lingered.

She shivered as she stared at the jar. Whoever sent it must've played a cruel joke on her.

"Whatever it is, this shouldn't be staying with me." she mumbled as she wrapped it again in the same cloth and carried it with her, attempting to find someone who could take these away from her.

* * *

While walking along the Squad 5 barracks, she mentally made a list of some people she could give it to.

_Rangiku-san,_

_Kira-kun,_

_Abarai-kun,_

_Rukia-san,_

_Ise-san,_

_Kotetsu-san,_

_..._

Those were the people she could recall. After a day of paperwork, she proceeded with her plan to give these 'things' to other people.

First, she caught sight of Squad 4's vice-captain, Kotetsu Isane. Though nervous, Hinamori welled her courage to ask her.

"Kotetsu-san, would you like some of these?" asked Hinamori politely as she handed out the _umeboshi-_filled jar to her white-haired companion.

Isane's face suddenly turned pale as she patted Hinamori's shoulder.

"N-no, dear. I think you should have it. You don't seem to be eating well. I appreciate your thoughtfulness, though." she said as she turned away and bade farewell.

Hinamori tried to persuade her more, but she felt that it was impolite. Though Kotetsu-san was right about her not eating well, Hinamori thought that she'd eat anything but pickled plums.

...

Hinamori continued to venture out until she bumped into Squad 8's vice captain, Ise Nanao, holding a ream of paperwork. She approached her silently.

"Good afternoon, Ise-san." greeted Hinamori casually, "You seem to be busy as always."

"Yes," she sighed, "Anyway, what brings you here?"

"Oh, nothing.." Hinamori smiled. "Have you ate?"

Ise-san shook her head and Hinamori's face lit up.

"Would you care for some of these, Ise-san?" asked Hinamori, lifting up the jar of _umeboshi._

Ise-san's face fell and smiled nervously.

"N-no thanks.." she declined politely. In the nick of time, Captain Kyoraku appeared and called for his vice-captain.

"Captain Kyoraku's calling for me, so I have to go.. I appreciate your thoughtfulness, though, Hinamori-san. Take care." said Ise-san hurriedly.

Hinamori bade goodbye, with a defeated look on her face as she proceeded to her apartment.

...

She stared face-to-face with the dreaded jar. She attempted to pick off another fruit and still had the same reaction as before. Her face still puckered up and tears swelled into the corners of her eyes, leading her to reach for a glass of water.

"I've tasted pickled plums before, but they weren't **this** sour." she whispered to herself.

Hinamori left the room and tried to sleep, thinking on how to get rid of those. She didn't think of throwing them away, but she really had to get those fruits away from her.

...

_On the other hand, some Shinigami were talking about the same things, while having a friendly chat._

"Pickled plums..?" asked Kiyone Kotetsu.

"Yes." Isane Kotetsu sighed. "Those pickled plums came from the Human World."

"The Substitute Shinigami Kurosaki Ichigo brought them here." added Nanao Ise.

"Why?" Kotsubaki Sentaro asked, raising an eyebrow skeptically.

"Orihime and I made them, actually." added Rukia Kuchiki. "But we sort of made a mistake. They were too sour."

"How sour?" inquired Tetsuzaemon Iba. "Maybe someone who likes sour things can manage those."

"I want some pickled plums!" cried Yachiru Kusajishi.

"No one could manage those." Rukia solemnly said. "They're like pickled plums doused with vinegar and lemon juice."

Everyone's face sort of puckered from imagining. Except for Yachiru, of course.

"But I don't understand how they made their way to Hinamori." Isane cut in.

Rukia sighed.

"Ichigo sent them to my brother as a gift, hoping he could get away with it." she narrated, "Then, niisama tried one and couldn't take it. He sent a servant to give it to someone else. Well, I guess the servant just left it in front of a random apartment and.."

Rukia noticed that everyone wasn't paying attention to her story. They were probably thinking of what Byakuya's face looked like after testing the dreaded pickled plums.

"I think it's unfair that it was sent to Hinamori." cut in Matsumoto. "She isn't a fan of plums."

No one responded. It was obvious that no one wanted them, too.

Matsumoto sighed, feeling sorry for Hinamori's fate.

* * *

A day of work began for Hinamori, carrying the jar with her. At lunchtime, she asked her Third Seat to have some, but declined, saying that she was allergic to those. Dejected again, Hinamori returned to her office, resuming paperwork.

The day ended. Hinamori walked uneasily, still carrying the jar with her.

"The kids from Rukongai wouldn't like these.." she whispered.

However, she had a stroke of hope when she saw Rukia together with Renji Abarai.

"Rukia-san..!" called Hinamori.

The two turned to her, who was catching up with them.

"Hinamori-san.."

"Just got home from work?" she asked, panting.

The two nodded.

"We were invited to have a drink." said Renji, "Wanna come?"

"No, but, would you like to have pickled plums?" asked Hinamori.

Rukia sort of cringed from the sight of those. Renji was thinking of accepting it when a voice cut in, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"You should come," said Matsumoto. "And bring that jar with you, too. The drinkers would want some snacks, too."

Hinamori's face brightened up into a smile. She was finally going to get rid of the plums.

"Okay." she agreed.

...

Hinamori went with Matsumoto while Renji and Rukia went on ahead.

"I don't think Kira likes pickled plums." said Matsumoto, "But maybe Shuhei would."

"Hisagi-san?" asked Hinamori.

"Yes. He'd even want to take them home."

Hinamori's face was slowly looking guilty.

"Why?"

"Well, that guy accepts anything." Matsumoto rattled on, referring to the vice-captain of Squad 9. "He even goes to Vice-Captain Omaeda's house to pick on leftovers."

"R-really..?"

"Yes."

Hinamori was slowly feeling something for Hisagi. She felt a little pity and something else.

...

Matsumoto barged in with Hinamori plodding behind her. There was a lot of people there.

3rd Seat Madarame and 5th Seat Ayasegawa from the 11th division.

Rukia, Ichigo and Renji.

Iba-san.

Kiyone and Isane-san.

Kira-kun and Hisagi-senpai.

"Hiya, everyone! I brought Hinamori here with me..!" greeted Matsumoto in a cheery voice.

Everyone turned to Hinamori and Matsumoto and greeted. They must've started a long time since the guys were already drunk.

"Oh, Hinamori-chan also has some snacks for everyone!" Matsumoto announced, pulling Hinamori to her side. Hinamori held the cloth-covered package and uncovered it. The rambunctious pack of Shinigami suddenly turned quiet at the sight of the pickled plums. Only Renji, Kira and Hisagi kept on talking. Especially the last two, who were oblivious to their surroundings.

Matsumoto opened the jar and the nearby people made funny faces. Even Matsumoto herself was keeping herself from cringing as she transferred half of the jar's contents to a plate.

"Help yourselves, everyone!"

Hinamori fidgeted uneasily from her seat as she saw everyone politely declining. Even Madarame and Ayasegawa, who probably got the message from Yachiru. Ichigo placed his palms on his face in embarrasment and guilt. Renji was brave enough to pick off a fruit and eat it. After placing it in his mouth, he stood up and went to the bathroom.

The plate was left untouched.

"Hey Kira..!" called a drunk Hisagi.

Kira only raised his head in response.

"Let's play a little game..! The one who eats the most pickled plums wins!" Hisagi said.

"I'm not really into those.." muttered Kira, probably having a headache.

"The one who loses treats the winner to a drink..!" continued Hisagi.

"I'm not interested okay..?" replied Kira weakly, "And I already know who's gonna lose.."

Without a warning, Hisagi shoved a handful of plums into Kira's open mouth. The poor guy almost choked and covered his face. His lips were probably puckering and making a funny face. Ichigo and Rukia stood up to leave, probably because they couldn't handle the sight. (Well, you know.. The tingly feeling you get whenever someone eats something sour in front of you..) Madarame, Ayasegawa, Kiyone, Isane and Iba followed suit. Renji, who had just returned from the bathroom, covered his eyes and couldn't handle the sight as he blindly tried to run away. Matsumoto continued drinking and Hinamori was really affected, with her mouth puckering and tears forming in the corners of her eyes. Hisagi was just laughing.

After Kira recovered from Hisagi's attack, he threw a handful of plums towards Hisagi. Now, the blonde was laughing, though having some saliva in the corners of his mouth. Unfortunately for Kira, and his thoughts of revenge, Hisagi seemed unaffected from the last attack. (Though having a wet uniform that reeked of _umeboshi_) Hisagi picked a single plum and looked at it.

"I wonder what this tastes like." he mumbled.

Kira suddenly shoved the whole plate into his mouth. (Yes, the whole plate, including the plate..!) Hisagi's eyes swelled with tears as he tried to chew the multitude of plums in his mouth. His cheeks ached and his mouth was puckering. Hinamori couldn't help shedding tears of her own as she felt the sour taste coming to her. Matsumoto was laughing quite a lot, enjoying the show. Hisagi managed to swallow them and breathed heavily.

"Damn Kira..!" he cursed.

Hinamori looked as Kira picked off a pickled plum and ate it, flashing a funny face at his red-faced companion. He was teasing Hisagi. Well, Hisagi had this unbelievable look on his face as Kira teased him. Hinamori covered her mouth to supress her soft chuckle, in case Hisagi-senpai gets offended. Kira kept teasing him until surprisingly, Hisagi fainted.

Or at least fell down.

Hinamori let out a burst of laughter.

Kira looked animatedly at Hinamori and Hisagi was trying hard to regain his composure.

"Was it you who brought these here..?" asked Hisagi weakly, though with a serious face.

Hinamori shuddered. But weakly confessed.

Hisagi smiled.

"If you don't mind, could I take these home?" asked Hisagi, "These pickled plums are perfect for rice balls."

The girl's face lit up. Was she hearing right..?

She slightly nodded.

"Yes, you can have them."

"Thanks!" said Hisagi, face lighting up as he reached for the half-filled jar. "I still need to punish Kira and some people, though. These are perfect for the job."

Kira gulped as they continued the childish fight.

Hinamori continued laughing at the two, shoving pickled plums at each other. And she smiled in relief as she successfully got rid of the plums without much difficulty.


	2. Epilogue

-Epilogue-

Hinamori Momo just entered the vice-captain's office. She spotted a cloth-covered package.

"From the 9th division" it said.

She removed the cloth and uncovered a tiny box filled with rice balls. She smiled as she picked up one rice ball and took a bite. It was delicious, though the filling was pickled plums.

* * *

Hinamori sat confidently at a vice-captain's meeting. Subconsciously, her head turned around and caught a glimpse of the 9th division's vice-captain.

The man was looking uneasy with lips puckered, making a funny face. She then turned to Kira, who looked the same.

After the meeting, she asked Matsumoto about the condition of the two vice-captains.

"Kira and Shuhei?" asked Matsumoto, "Oh, those two don't get together all that much anymore. They're still affected by the pickled plums. When they see each other, they get the same expression as if they ate something sour. I guess they just remind each other of pickled plums."

Hinamori just stood there, dumbfounded.


End file.
